So as I've written before, I have problems with Gwen going forward under saddle. She does great online, and has come so incredibly far since I first started working with her about a year ago. On the ground she is willing and has really shown effort and desire to play the games or figure out whatever task is in front of us. However the moment I hop on, defiance arises. Now take in mind I'm the only one who has ever ridden her, and have always used Parelli principles with her. She feels defiant when she doesn't want to move forward; raises her head, ears go back a bit, and her body becomes almost stoic at times. Knowing Gwen, and judging from my previous experience with other horses, I have always seen this as LB defiance. I've tried mirroring her, lots of undemanding time under saddle, and that's helped a bit, but nothing too significant. I've been really puzzled about it, then I read this article by Pat called "Is it Fear, Stubbornness or Lack of Confidence?". It all clicked for me. My mom has seen Gwen's face from the ground when she was being "defiant", and said she almost looked scared, but it just didn't match Gwen's patterns from before, so I didn't believe her, but those words always stuck in the back of my mind. And what do you know, she was right! Maybe it IS okay to listen to your parents every now and again, no matter what your age ;)
Pat writes "But other horses, who maybe don’t have as much fire in their feet, may not exhibit their fear or lack of confidence that way. Oftentimes those horses don’t want to go forward at all and they’ll plant their feet. In assessing a fearful or stubborn horse, I try to determine how a lack of confidence will exhibit itself—flight from fear or a more a passive resistance?". That totally struck home for me. When Cheyenne is unconfident, she leaves no doubt in your mind that's how she feels. Her ears shoot up, she snorts, pulls away, dances around, all the classic signals of a scared pony. She shows it by "flight from fear". But not Gwen. I feel so terrible just brushing that possibility away now. And Pat goes onto say "Your attitude applies directly to your relationship with your horse. If you are confident, the horse gains confidence. If you are nervous, your horse will feel unsafe and lose confidence in you as his leader. If you are overaggressive or inconsiderate, the horse may become fearful (or fight back).
In so many ways, your horse is your mirror. Lots of people blame the horse for his attitude and not realize the part their attitude plays in this two-way relationship. Your attitude and behavior determine the amount of respect you’ll get from your horse. You’ll be amazed at what your horse will do for you once he trusts you as his leader." It hurts to read, but it is right on target. On so many levels this article is what I needed to read. A) I see myself as an extremely confident leader and rider, and B) My Gweny doesn't have the trust in me and my leadership that I thought she did. I realize I'm missing some key anatomy here, but it feels like a kick in the balls. And the heart. My lack of fear comes from what my mother has told me about Gwen, the entire reason she's given her to me - Gwen can blow up quite easily when she is frustrated, and that mare can put some of those bulls at the rodeo to shame when she's out playing in the pasture with the power to back it up. However I know my girl, and at least on the ground I can see the signs and have never had the negative experiences my mother had with her. But I have to admit, knowing what she is capable of and knowing I am the pioneer rider makes me a little apprehensive when she starts questioning my leadership, which obviously doesn't help that situation at all.
Gwen's lack of confidence in my leadership (not me personally.. that's one thing I still have to learn is to not take this personally! It is feedback, nothing more and nothing less) is an easy fix, I believe. I'm thinking we just need more hours on the ground with some saddle time peppered into our play sessions to build her confidence in my leadership. Take the time it takes so it takes less time. Another tool I'll use is my trusty camera :) I want to video tape our sessions as best I can so I can see her facial expressions I otherwise miss when I'm on her back. I just can't help but feel (although maybe this is just human pride?) that there is something I'm missing in her facial expression that will be the key to what and where things start falling apart. After all, it took someone on the ground to even be able to see her signals of unconfidence to even bring that possibility to my mind.
I have about a week until I'm reunited with my ponies, even if it's only for a day. But I'm using my away time to do more research and more studying about LBIs, and hopefully on the 11th I'll have a great progress report! If nothing else, I need to remember that she is my mirror, this is teaching me to really take my time (I've never had to do so much ground prep before riding before, but each horse is unique), and to let the horse tell me when she is ready, not the other way around. Just more arrows in my quiver, and more Parelli Principles sinking in :)
