swallow........ "If you get bucked off or kicked or bitten,
you obviously did something wrong, and that's just too
bad. The horse, on the other hand, is never, ever
wrong." Ray Hunt
Pride is something I've always struggled with, along with a few other predator mind sets. I was taught, as most of us were, to jump right back on when a horse bucks you off. For confidence reasons this is incredible advice, however what they show you when they get back on to demonstrate, is to be crazy rough and rude to the horse. The typical image I saw from many riders was hopping on, see-sawing the horses mouth until the bit looked like it was right under their eyeballs, kicking them while see-sawing sending contradicting messages, and riding them in a tight circle while cracking them on the butt with the end of their reins. There is no communication in that, there is no valuable lesson learned, it's just a large child throwing a fit on top of a horse. Thankfully when I saw this it wasn't on my personal horse, rather a horsey friend trying to teach a young girl how to handle the situation, but very very wrongly. When watching that, even as a child, I was confused and sick to my stomach. However, it did teach me that a bad attitude was okay in the saddle.
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| Riding bridleless as a child improving attitude and communication |
I have been doing natural horsemanship since I was 10 years old, so I was fortunate enough to
learn better alternatives to handing horses early enough to correct my methods. However, four
years of learning to have a bad attitude when things didn't go your way is something that has
taken me a very long time to change. I've worked really hard at adjusting my mindset, and I
continue to improve it every day. One of the best ways to overcome a problem is to admit it, so
here are attitude issues I struggle with, from both my LBE and LBI points of view:
1) PATIENCE, patience, patience
2) Knowing when to walk away vs. throwing a fit just to prove your point and making the
situation worse
3) Not taking what happens personally, but as data
4) Boredom. This might have you thinking "What? That isn't a behavioral issue!" but it is a
mindset that makes my attention to detail and my horsemanship sloppy, which can potentially
lead to a frustrating situation due to lack of communication on my part.
5) Melting down. I usually have a pretty good head on my shoulders, and I've worked insanely
hard at my emotional fitness. However, when it comes down to having a time line (i.e. being at
a clinic/workshop/trail ride at a certain time) and something goes wrong while trailer loading
(bad prior and proper preparation), Cheyenne feeds directly off of my emotions and gets
emotional herself, and I can go from my normal calm state and turn into a blubbering somewhat
hysterical mess. It's not pretty, and I'm far from proud of it, but it is a work in progress. It's better
to be late and arrive with a mentally and emotionally stable horse and human than to be on time
in a ball of stress and anxiety, and then have to safely unload the ball of stress and anxiety you
created in your horse trailer.
The lesson I'm focusing on today, for myself, is to let go of pride and embrace humility and all
the beauty of a learning experience. I need to throw pride away before I even walk out my door
to the pasture, and take ownership of my state of mind and my approach when doing anything
with or around my babies. I have come a very long way since I was that 10 year old girl taking a
hold of a Parelli halter and lead rope for the first time, and I know I have grown into a good (and
hopefully one day, great) horsewoman. But there is always room for improvement, and
admitting it is half the battle.
"The horse is never, ever wrong."
